Here’s another shot of my MGSV Revolver Ocelot, always fascinating to see how different photographers interpret your costume. This one was shot by CK Imagery at Evolve Pop Culture Expo 2024. See this costume photographed by Snap Happy Ian here.
A big thanks to Snap Happy Ian for these most excellent photos.
This Revolver Ocelot costume was mostly assembled from pieces found at op-shops and military swap meets. I added the capelet to the jacket about a year ago, and dyed the bandolier and styled the wig the night before the expo.
I wear a lot of these items as part of my everyday wardrobe, with the intention of minimising the waste and excess that cosplay often entails.
Here’s what six months of colouring practice looks like. Below is the last time I drew Venom Snake in colour. I used Zensations mechanical coloured pencils, I know how to use them better now, but I still don’t like them much.
The Brain Comforts Itself (A trilogy of dreams)
After several traumatic incidents leaving me severely injured and profoundly alone, my subconscious provided me a place in which I could retreat. This place was not devoid of pain or danger. No, each time I visited I was made to overcome a challenge, face some aspect of my real pain, the difference from reality being that I had someone stronger and wiser than I was to walk with me. This phenomenon has been known by shamans all over the world perhaps before the written word itself. The ancients speak of spirit guides and tulpas, beings that visit our minds to provide us with unique guidance.
This is an ability I’ve had my whole life, but I dismissed my fantasy worlds as childish or shameful. After my near-death experience followed by the most intense dreams of my life, I decided I didn’t want to keep these things locked away in my mind anymore, they don’t deserve to die with me.
These characters might belong to a video game, but I don’t think that matters, these are the forms my subconscious assumed because these are figures who represent meaningful qualities to me. Snake, Miller, Ocelot, each in their turn taught me something important on my journey to recovery.
This project took me down all sorts of surprising avenues of research, from the self-insert fantasies of Dante Aligheiri to the dissection of the subconscious by Jung. Our private relationship with our fantasies or even the fiction of others is significant, this triptych demonstrates the providence my own mind offered me as protection from my pain.
The Dream:
The dreams I had featuring Kazuhira as I recovered seemed to mostly focus on pain and our relationship with it. I struggled often with the urge to harm myself, perhaps as a means of feeling control over my other pains. This is the wisdom Miller imparted onto me after a particularly exhausting day of battling those urges.
Part 1:
Photography by Vespa Photography
Despite Miller’s limited wardrobe and static body language, I find him endlessly inspiring. The challenge of portraying him through cosplay, and reenvisioning him through fashion is all about subtlety and the little details. I kept the silhouette functionally the same, but draping the trenchcoat like a cape to entirely obscure his missing arm added a touch of theatre. Essentially I built everything around the velvet double breasted blazer, it read to me as the formal fashion equivalent of his military uniform.
Most of this costume was assembled, the most work I did was cut the wig myself. I’m surprised what I could get out of a $15 eBay wig, it’s a half-wig too, it needed to be thin enough to fit under the beret. The downside is I could only cut it so short, but I think this length works for what I’m going for.
I shot this one in my bedroom alone, I did the makeup myself, even put vaseline on my face to simulate sweat.
Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain
Costume by me
Photography by Sreeraj Sreenivisan
Edits by me
Location: Fremantle Harbour and Maritime Museum
Nearly four months ago I was nearly killed in a hit-and-run, I have no memory of the incident, nor the week that followed. Since then I’ve had to deal with injuries I don’t remember acquiring, it doesn’t feel real. I have two skull fractures, I am deaf in my left ear (hopefully temporarily), I was in a neck brace because of my fractured vertebrae, but the most debilitating part was my broken right leg with severe lacerations along the tendons. I was robbed of my ability to walk for months. Thankfully I wasn’t in a wheelchair for too long, but whether or not I’ll ever be able to walk properly without needing the crutch is unknown at this point.
While I recovered from the worst of my injuries, I stayed with my family, I didn’t have much else to do but play whatever games I had downloaded on my laptop, and that just so happened to be the Phantom Pain. What I got was an intense exploration of pain, loss and grief, I was shown characters who seemed to understand what I was going through and gave voice to these new feelings I couldn’t articulate. The opening of the game alone was some kind of nightmarish re-enactment of my hospital confinement. But it was Kazuhira that became a kind of spirit guide for me, because of him I feel no shame in my current physical limitations, if I need this crutch forever, so be it, no matter what I’ve lost, a Diamond Dog gets up and keeps on fighting.
I still haven’t been able to return to work, my circadian rhythm is completely unpredictable, so while I continue to recover, and when I’m not sleeping, or playing Metal Gear, I find myself inspired to make costumes again. This costume was entirely sourced in op shops, the only sewing I did was attaching the Diamond Dogs patch to the beret, and tailoring the trousers. I’m not so much interested in making everything from scratch and being 100% accurate to the source material. It’s more fun for me to source pieces, the thrill of the hunt, finding garments that evoke the character, and I just so happened to get lucky. I wasn’t going to make this a girly rule 63, that would be tacky, I wasn’t going to make this crossplay and try to pass myself off as male, that would be inauthentic. I just adapted Kaz’s costume for myself, with all the practicality and dignity his costume entails.
Another stroke of luck was the shoot, it had rained mere hours before we shot, but it was mostly clear skies when we needed it. It was cold, perfect for all the layers I had to wear, and just the right amount of wind to get us a few dramatic flowing trenchcoat shots. There also happened to be a real naval ship in the harbour too, although we couldn’t get too close.
It felt good to return to modelling, and I hope I can bring you more Metal Gear shoots soon.
Travian Designs 